Melancholy Christmas

For what ever reason, I am feeling a bit melancholy today, despite it being the heart of the Christmas season. There’s just something not quite right about that. Ya know? Christmas is indeed to the time to “be jolly”. Or, that’s what “they” tell us. Nevertheless, “melancholy is where I’m at today.

I think its simply the whirlwind of directions I need to go, and the myriad of “urgent” things that need my attention right now. Furthermore, each and every item has seemingly conflicting deadlines battling for my absolute attention. It becomes mentally draining.

Amongst the blender of activities and responsibilities are thoughts of past losses during this time of year. Last week it seems I was all caught up in fond memories. Today has definitely flipped the script on that.

This morning I decided to listen to an old playlist while I got ready. Low and behold I heard a song that resurrected some sad memories. The events I connect with that song are sad. But the song also embodies hope and comfort over the circumstances.

A dear friend’s infant daughter lost her battle against a heart birth defect at the precious age of two and half months old. We laid her to rest on December 5th that year. Man! Christmas was tough after that. Although it was a comforting thought that God now has another precious little angel with our dear Abby. Amazingly, God provided us with this song in the spring previous to our journey with Abby. That song was Held by Natalie Grant (below).

Held by Natalie Grant

And that’s just one loss among a several that have occurred during the holiday season. That’s sad, but then think of all the crimes that happen this time of year by opportunistic criminals. There are so many atrocities that people survive. It’s horrid what the collateral damage can do.

The actions, even the thoughts alone, can break you if you let them. After all, sometimes there just isn’t a satisfactory answer for any of life’s heartaches, losses, or tragic events. Which begs the question is God really in control of all this mess? Why? Why does He allow such sadness to occur?

Those are some big questions. Honestly, they’re too big to resolve here, so I’m not even going to try. I will say that each of us must find peace with how this world moves around us. For me, I find peace through the sovereignty of God and that He sees, and vengeance is indeed His just as He promised.

I heard a podcast by Kris Vallotton this morning that really seemed to address both of these topics in an analytical way. (Well, analytical to me anyway.) Kris doesn’t go deep on the horrible things that happen. More or less, he approaches it from a perspective of how God moves. And, furthermore, how God moves differently at different times.

I don’t think I’m explaining it well at all. Lol! So, check out the podcast for yourself and come to your own conclusions. Then come back and let me know what you think. I’d appreciate the feedback.

Meanwhile, I’m going to keep plugging along and drinking from my “blender” of responsibilities. I’ll ride the roller-coaster that has dipped me into the land of melancholy. For surely, this too shall pass. And if you’re in that melancholy dip as well, take heart. There is hope. There are good days coming. Trust me, the sun will shine again tomorrow. And so will we.


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